Evil only makes love stronger.

[ophello]

I have just had what I can only call a Father moment.



I somehow had the bright idea to mix alcohol and weed. Normally this concoction does me well. I seemed to involuntarily fall into this mix and until this point, it had generally made me feel good.

Tonight wasn't like those times.

The first waves of uncertainty rose in my heart like a black pit, leaping out of my chest and into my mind: why is my heart rate climbing to unmanageable levels? Irrational fear ripped though my body: from whence came this fear?

Thinking it would pass, I guzzled down some water and took a few deep breaths. "It will pass," I say methodically.

Further waves of fear and leaping heartbeats jar me from my seat: this is not normal.

What then ensued was the worst lapses in confidence and unfamiliar sensations I've experienced since my bad mushroom trip years earlier. I can't say how many times thought I may die alone and unfulfilled in an utter pointless tradgety at the hands of my own selfish foolishness.

I managed to get a grip mostly by deep breathing and recognizing I'd been in worse situations and that Father really must believe in me to have allowed my stupidity to take me this far without serious consequences.

These bouts of terror and relative calm are still with me for the moment, but about 20 minutes ago, a transformation occurred inside me that I will not soon forget.

I don't want to go into incredible detail as to what led to this moment but at some point, curled up on my bed begging to stay alive to live out the rest of my pitiable existence, I felt compelled to utter, aloud, that I accept god as my Father and as the Truth and the Light. It was as if I had never spoke those words before in all my life, despite having said it before, hoping it would have a magical fairy-dust effect of saving my soul.

The transformation, which is literally what this was, shook me from head to toe. As I wept, wiggled and squirmed, the notion of sacrifice, unparalleled loyalty and eternal acceptance as God my Father and Creator coursed through my veins.

"I am proud of you for finally learning from your experiences," was the booming response I had just experienced.

Father's moment is the window of hope. It is the planting of roots and of the acceptance of cause and effect. The mind is like a muscle and can be trained. My final awareness of this has led to my salvation.

Fear still grips me here and there in these moments but I thank you, Cal, and those on this forum for becoming a catalyst for change in my life. I still have doubts about my future and ours together, but I can assure you, transformations can and do happen. It just happened to me, and in a big way.

Believe.

[Mortal]

I had a similar experience one night after drinking too much alcohol.

[Adam]

I somehow had the bright idea to mix alcohol and weed. Normally this concoction does me well. I seemed to involuntarily fall into this mix and until this point, it had generally made me feel good.


I somehow had the bright idea (theft of truth).

Normally this concotion does me well (theft of truth).

I seem to involuntarily fall (theft of truth).


Dave comment: Op it seems that you might consider a change in behavior. In order to accept the reality of the end times experience and make the best of it. If alcohol and weed bring you pain (and that is the truth). Then its time to do something else. DUH? Also I disagree with your premise Evil only makes love stronger. What about the soul that burns in the fire of perdition?

Did evil make that persons love stronger or - hopeless (weaker). Ask yourself Op, HOW is it that a man or woman your age can volunteer for 3 to 4 tours in Iraq and Afghanistan? Is it because of Character - Integrity - Truth (NOTICE the Order). Op its up to all of us to examine our Character from time to time. I would suggest having a higher regard for the good that your fellows have done and not fall into the cynics trap threw abuse of self or others. While others are abusing you (drug cartels are in place to profit off you and control you). You can change. That's the name of the game.

Also Op, for as long as you have been here. For you not to be able to connect and understand the nature of evil, makes me think that you need to sober up. Become a coffee person. Start your own group, young adults who discredit thieves of truth. You will find some like minds that care for you and not the drug or booze that you can supply.


When evil works, the first theft that occurs is to the truth. Following closely behind is the loss of integrity. Truth and integrity march hand in hand and in their absence, evil flourishes.

IF we let our experiences so embitter us that we are willing to cast off our hope - then we have truly been destroyed - beyond salvation.

www.planetaryhq.com/evil.htm


How does marijuana affect the heart?
Marijuana use increases the heart rate as much as 50 percent, depending on the amount of THC. It can cause chest pain in people who have a poor blood supply to the heart - and it produces these effects more rapidly than tobacco smoke does.

www.well.com/user/woa/fspot.htm

[ophello]

Op it seems that you might consider a change in behavior.

Way ahead of ya there.

Also I disagree with your premise Evil only makes love stronger.

I am not suggesting that by doing evil, I learn love. That is not at all my point so I apologize for not being clearer. I present "evil" in the sense of suffering and tribulation, not acts of evil I perpetrate. It may have made more sense to say "suffering makes love stronger" which is what I meant in this case.

Also, I don't really drink that often. Tonight I had, over a period of two hours, about 2-3 shots which is as much as I had always done when going out. Mixing pot with it is also something Ive never had a problem with.

I think it is significant that it affected me so powerfully this time, but not other times. None of my friends, family (who know how much I drink) and co-workers would ever say I "have a drinking problem." The problem was the mixing of the two drugs and in my mind, pot is the ingredient that needs to be removed.

[Adam]

The problem was the mixing of the two drugs and in my mind,


Op from what I have seen the problem as with most of us is in our heart.

Feeling good is not sustained by additives. Feeling good is sustained by appreciation.

Understanding is enhanced by appreciation for the opportunities. To do what?

[Caligastia Lanonandek]

Op

Sounds more like Rot Gut, drugs and a stupid person. Not a Father moment.

also, the wine that comes in gallon bottles.........well.... if you don't know, you're already beyond hope

[hollis]

Op,

I feel bad for you. I'm you age and I've never needed to go to a substance to find God. I don't think that God is there when you're high or drunk. I reach for a few nips of scotch to get over some of the things I saw in the war, but God can be found sober wherever you want.

And I agree with David about the men and women doing three or four tours. I only had the huevos for one.

[ophello]

Hollis hollis hollis.

I did not drink because I wanted to find god. That is absurd.

[hollis]

"Normally this concoction does me well. I seemed to involuntarily fall into this mix and until this point, it had generally made me feel good."

That quote led me to believe that you needed a substance to find God. If I am in error, I apologize.

[ophello]

Hollis, I did drugs to feel good, not find Father.

[hollis]

Aye aye.